Christmas Jewels – Lesson 10 – Resolutions and Intentions

We’re at that super-sacred, very wonderful time of year when we have the best chance of making deep-level changes in ourselves – sort of re-setting our internal guidance system.

All too often, we mess this up on ourselves, by setting resolutions that are – aside from being overwhelming and incompatible – also out of sync with our true nature .

However, there is a way to make safe, effective, and long-lasting internal course corrections – guiding us to where we will feel not just calmer, more peaceful, and downright happier with our lives, but also feeling that we’re more on track with our true purpose for getting into these particular lifetimes.

 

How NOT to Create a New Year’s Resolution

There’s one thing – at the outset – that we don’t want to do. And that is, in fact, what society-at-large tells us that we should be doing. That thing is making a New Year’s Resolution – at all.

At all.

At all, do you hear me? Just don’t go there.

With just this one exception.

The single one resolution that you will allow yourself to make is to listen to your inner self more – sometimes this is your Higher Self, and will include getting input from your Guides. Sometimes this is simply listening to your body’s wisdom.

Simply, I say?

As we all know, this is one of the hardest things that we can do.

 

What Is Really Going On

Let’s back up a second, okay?

We are – supposedly – at the safe time of the year. Almost everyone (ourselves, included) is on some sort of vacation or time-out. We’ve got a few moments here to recollect; to draw our breath, and to look around.

Should be safe, right?

Turns out it’s not, always.

Reason why?

As soon as the external noise – and the external demands – calm down for a moment, our stuff starts churning up.

Sometimes our internal stuff is so demanding, so judgmental, and so chaotic that we prefer – we actively create – demands, judgments, and chaos in our surrounding world, because it’s easier to deal with external over-demands and chaos than to deal with what’s going on inside our heads.

Sounds perverse, I know. Sounds just plain weird, but yes.

In fact, this is one of the reasons that – when we assess our lives so far – we are so often disappointed.

I know that I’ve been.

What I finally figured out – just this last year (heck, just these past couple of months) was that the things that made my life way-less-than-wonderful, and way-less-than-effective, had to deal with a combination of pain-body and ego-mind.

We’ve spent some time on these topics, over these last few days.

Enough so that I feel confident that you have the tools.

But moving forward – here’s what we want now.

 

Creating the Lives that We REALLY Want

So.

The moment is upon us.

New Year’s cheer and parties done, at least for now.

We’ve sobered up, we’re getting that first (second, third) cup of coffee into our system, and thinking about New Year’s Resolutions – and maybe contemplating the idea of NOT doing them, if what I’m writing to you about actually makes sense.

Imagine this scenario.

You’ve had your morning shower. You’ve looked at your belly, not felt real good. You’re feeling it in your body right now – a bit too much alcohol, a bit too much sugar and fat in your diet; too many carbs, not enough protein and raw veggies.

And you’re saying to yourself, “This is it. I’m going on a diet. I’m going to the gym. This year it will be different.”

Stop! Hold! Draw back!

I promise you, this year – it can be different. It WILL be different.

But the way to get different is not to come at yourself all judging, and putting demands on yourself that aspects of your inner self (inner child, for one) just don’t want to hear.

Let’s just deal with body and weight and overall fitness and well-being for a moment, shall we? (A similar strategy will apply to all other areas where you’d like a change.)

First off, we can’t beat up on ourselves and expect positive results, just the way we can’t browbeat a child into making adult-style choices and being a star athlete.

We’ve kind of got to sneak up ourselves a little bit. We have to seduce ourselves into doing that which we feel is really and truly best.

And – core to the art of seduction – we have to listen to the other, and get into alignment with the other – before we induce a change of direction or attitude.

 

A Brief Side Discussion – Martial Arts and Getting into Alignment with “The Other”

Years ago, I studied martial arts with the fabulous and internationally-famous Peter Ralston. He taught a comprehensive fighting system called Cheng Hsin. Within the Cheng Hsin system, he included elements of T’ai Chi Ch’uan and Hsing I. Prior to then, I’d studied judo (along with other martial arts) with some very fine teachers.

The key to each of these arts? It was working with your opponent’s force and momentum. In Hsing I especially, the idea was to align yourself with your opponent – to get around to joining your opponent, moving in the same direction – and then inducing a change.

But the first thing was to get around to the other side, so to speak. To line up with your opponent’s energy and direction. To blend with your opponent – come into agreement with him or her. Then (and only then) would you have some real influence.

Otherwise, it was force against force. And we all know what that means, right? (Look at how many successful changes you’ve forced on yourself to assess this one.) (Here’s a YouTube of Peter Ralston, doing more in the way of T’ai Chi uprooting and Push Hands, but you can absolutely see Peter’s Effortless Power in action. (The link is to a book by Peter of the same name. See this good and honest review of Peter’s book here. And Peter himself would prefer that you read his more recent work; The Book of Not-Knowing.)

So what we want to do is to come into alignment with those aspects of ourselves that are not necessarily so cognitive and so verbal. Which means a little understanding and discretion on our part.

Then, after we’ve figured out where these different aspects are coming from, we place ourselves in agreement with them. We align with them. We move in the same direction.

Then – so long as we’re coming from a place of really loving ourselves (not judging ourselves), and from desiring for all of who we are what it is that we (overall and in toto) really want – we can have some influence.

And I’m not talking about making any 180-degree changes, either. We’re not trying to topple ourselves. (This isn’t judo-play.) We just want to nudge the course direction, a little bit.

 

A Practical Example

So suppose that we’ve looked at our body and decided that we don’t like the shape of it. And that we’ve checked in with our body, and felt the sluggishness and the ill-effects of too much holiday food; not enough real nourishment.

What are we going to do?

Sign up for a Boot Camp at the nearest gym? Throw out all the “goodies” and go on a raw juice cleanse?

Are you kidding?

It’s January.

Our bodies still want to sleep in. We naturally and innately want to sleep more.

So, sleep. Get an extra hour.

Our bodies still crave sugary and fatty comfort foods.

The one thing we know for sure – a deprivation diet will throw all of our inner selves into rebellion.

So here’s what we do instead.

We seduce ourselves into making healthier decisions.

We line ourselves – all of our internal selves – up with the notion of how good it will feel to feel lighter and brighter and bouncier and more energized.

We tantalize ourselves with how good it will feel to have a fabulous salad as part of our daily diet.

So, instead of forcing ourselves to the gym for an early-morning workout, let’s go out for a healthy vigorous walk in the middle of the day, when the sun is shining and it’s warmest. Make up an excuse to go outside – winter chores (there’s lots of snow-shoveling for many days yet), or walking a letter to the mail box, or walking to a nearby store. Just figure out an excuse.

If you can coax yourself up early, do stretches and yoga, with a bit of core. If you need to get to a gym to feel good, or to exercise in a class, or to have access to your favorite machines – do so. Just do so with grace, love, and kindness – instead of beating yourself up.

And keep in mind – spring is now less than 90 days away. The more light, the more warmth, green things start growing – very soon now – you’ll naturally want to go outdoors. You’ll naturally want to move about a lot more. You don’t have to force this thing.

In terms of diet – go to an upscale grocery store, find a magazine or two that has recipes and ideas that you like. Visuals are REAL important here.

Carefully extract some of the pages that you like – the ones with the most inspiring pictures and recipes.

Get some plastic page protectors. Put these pages in the protectors, and tape the protected sheets to your kitchen cabinets.

Select the recipes that you’d like, make some grocery lists.

When the time is good – you’re energized (typically mid-day), and you’re interested in food but not ravening with hunger – go to a couple of good food stores and get what you need.

The one thing extra you might need – food storage containers (various sizes) and zip-closure plastic bags, again, various sizes.

Choose your time early enough in the day so that when you get home, you still have some energy.

Unpack the goodies.

The thing about a high-veggie diet is: It takes time. Oodles and oodles and big huge bunches of time.

So cue up something on the TV, or slip in a DVD. Be prepared to watch TV for an hour (or an afternoon).

And chop veggies.

Chop, chop away. For a good long time.

By the end, you should have:

1. One decent salad – with all sorts of trim available – nuts, cheese – whether you go for pre-shredded cheeses (easier) or ones that you’ll grate yourself (more flavorful, but more time) – you should have one salad to eat now, and enough stuff put together so a salad is no more than a few minute’s work for the next few days,
2. Preps for a good stir-fry – chopped onions (I keep the garlic separate, it burns more readily), mushrooms, ginger – whatever you use for your stir-fry base; together with chopped carrots, celery, and whatever other veggies have delighted your eye – each in a separate baggie or container (use within the next few days), and meats on hand – whether you’ve chosen pre-cooked strips of things or meats that you’ll cut and cook – have them ready; cut and marinade any meats that you’ll stir-fry later, and
3. Preps for a good slow-cooked stew or soup -one decent slow-cooked meal is essential. I often make duplicates; freeze one and start the other. Have an interesting, artisan-style bread to go with this; pan-fry it, make croutons or toast, or good toasted cheese sandwiches. Sometimes, you just need the warm comfort food.

This is seducing your senses. This is getting into agreement with yourself.

If you eat the healthy stuff first, then your body is less likely to crave (or be drawn into) the unhealthy.

If you’ve got all the healthy things on hand, and have had a good meal, and your body wants chocolate or something creamy-cheesy-sweet-whatever, allow it. If you’ve been giving yourself the healthy, your body will just need a little to be alright with itself.

The secret, darling, is to love yourself into what you desire – not beat yourself up into it.

Which do you think will last longer, hmm?

And now, having written, I’m going to make a nice baked meal. A friend has sent me a recipe for baked yams with pecans that I want to try, and I’m actually having a craving for brussels sprouts with walnuts and green apple.

 

Final Words

Many blessings – and Happy New Year!

yours with love and laughter –

Alianna/Alay’nya

 

Previous Pages in the Twelve Days of Solstice: Falling in Love with Yourself

• Day Nine: Secret Weapon
• Day Eight: Forgiveness
• Day Seven: Clearing
• Day Six: Food
• Day Five: Magnificence
• Day Four: Blessings
• Day Three: Pausing
• Day Two: The Barrier
• Day One: Stillpoint